I Must Have Tricked Myself... but I'm Glad

          I only realized it now. I only felt it today in the courtyard. Her happiness was like a drug. I had longed so much to see her happy for months now and it finally happened. She made it work and she couldn't be better. I can hear it in the way she talks and see it in her behavior of late. I'm proud of her. She bore the pain and set her mind on the one thing she wanted, then when I was starting to think she wouldn't she won him back. I should be more like her. I just don't have the drive. I lack the care or the want to do anything more than sulk and wallow in self pity. She didn't and it changed her world. I can tell, and I couldn't be more genuinely happy for her, and for myself for that matter.